A.A.M.S
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Update: All right, "flied" has been changed to "flew" and "where" to "were". I hope this is all the mistakes.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
well this is great. i sat on the ground holding my arm as it slowly stopped bleeding , i stared at the arm of something, it seemed it had coem with me. only his arm that is. what am i gonna do with a clawed blue arm? with a sigh i put my head back against the alleyways wall, the pentagram had already disapated, which i guess is good. blood magic, also known as red magic, is known to be untraceable through any sort of spell, curse, or charm. although it's quite easy to track with sniffing dogs if the user doesnt clean up after themself. i thought of heirs words, ‘blood crone’ he called me. and he had fear in his voice. i moved my head so i hung, i don't understand; blood crones arent very dangerous. except for the user of red magic that is. sometimes we bleed to death if we use too much of oru magic. i huffed making my now loose hair move slightly, i cant believe i was bewitched though. hwo pathetic. my mother uses that, i shoudl eb used to it by now. i brought my knees up to my chest and hugged them, i brougth my cut up arm and licked the wound all the way up. the wound sizzled as i did this and closed. as i looked at it i stretched my arm back and forth to make sure i didn't miss anything. as always, im good at healign myself. not even a scar. i sat on the ground for a moment longer letting the dizziness subside before i stood up.as i did this i recounted what had happened. death teeth, the glamorous woman, the short fat pimp, heir, and then that man. a word was still on the tip of my tongue as i remembered him. there was something about him that was odd?no. that's not the right word. out of the lot he had to be the most normal one. sighing i got myself up and picked up the arm of something. i looked at it feeling the leathery blue skin underneath and said, “i feel like this would be useful.”
i opened up my arms wide and a bag showed up floating mid way. i smiled as i put somethings arm in it. babushkas gift always came in handy. i stood on my tippy toes as i looked int he bag, inside was a assortment of weapons. i pulled up a shotgun, babushkas personal favorites it seemed were all in here. such a sweet old lady. i stowed the gun back in then stretched my arms out again and clapped my ahnds together, the bag sealed itself and disapeared without a trace. my eye twitched,now what am i supposed to do? i walked otu of the alleyway looking out on each side cautiously before walking onto the sidewalk. this place was dark, only lighted by the moonlight and a few scarce streetlamps.i huffed as i began walkign up the street, the street was lined with dark homes, it reminded me of myself as a child, when we lived with my second father we lived in a nicer part of london. still cant believe my mother got a british husband, then american, and then finally a french one. talk about diversity. america was fun, too many loud people though, but london, london was absouletly the best place to live. i whistled slightly and held my hand behidn my back as i kept on walking. i peered at each home, they were made with small stone, it's seemed like there was bits of sea glass in it as well. each had steps leading up to it's front door, and each door was a different bright color. i stopped suddenly in front of oen home, this is obviously a trap. it was the exact home of my second father, wade cobb, i stared for a moment and stepped on the first stair. that unmistakable deep blue door, i stepped up the secodn step, and there was the christmas wreath that we had made and hung that year. i stepped up the thrid step and finally onto the landing. i traced the scratch across the middle of the door where mom had accidently scraped a metal ornament against it while bringing it home for unknown reasons. i smiled slightly as i remembered looking over the table at the ornament as my mother explained that babushka had given it to her and babushkas gifts always meant something. i grabbed the handle, telling myself, surely this is a trap. but i disregarded the warning in my head and twisted and pushed the door inwards. i stepped inside onto the light colored tiles which had been scuffed so often by my boots before. i stepped inwards and closed the door behidn me quietly. chewing my lip i walked past the flight of stairs leading upstairs and into the living room. there was a warm light comeing from there, a fire going int eh firestove and a pot of tea on the table next to the chair my mother used to sit in all the time. across from it was where my father would sit and read, and i would sit on the carpet in front of the fire playing with whatever i could get my hands on. i looked at the empty chairs sadly, this place seemed so empty now, you could fill it to the brim with people, but it would still hold memories traced with harm.heir stepped out of the corner of the room, i looked at him briefly then turned back tot eh fire, “i knew it was a trap.”
“then why did you coem in?”, he asked.
“because it was a trap. im just that sort of person i guess.”, i said shrugging. then i turned to him looking at him curiously, “are you going to kill me?”
“death didn't order it despite cats wants.”,heir answered.
“cat?”, i asked raising a eyebrow unable to stop myself from smirking.
“yes, the lady you shot.”, he scoffed giving me a tired expression.
“ah yes, i do remeber doing that.”, i said smiling. i folded my arms and said, “still, this is a dirty trick.”
“how so?”, heir asked.
“because-”, i switched my eyes over to the other corner, “oh hows the arm?”, i couldnt stop myself from snickering slightly as somethign came simpering otu of te corner.
“you witch.”, he hissed holding a bandaged up arm and giving me eyes that were obviously showing madness.
“why thank you.”, i said smiling brightly.
heir looked at something with extreme curiosity and slight surprise. “and what are you doing here?”, he asked.
something looked at him, his eyes took a sudden turn from madness to beligerency. he opened his mouth and out came a booming voice, “i will not forgive the familys cruelty!”
he raised his arm and out came shining dark long claws decending upon heir.
'As she looked above at the sky her eyes cleared of tears, pages flied everywhere in the cold night air.' That'd be 'flew,' not 'flied', I think. And 'Alice's last thoughts where,' -Pretty sure you meant 'were.'
ReplyDeleteOther than that, heartbreaking, as always. Good job.
You have such a vivid imagination...you got me sucked in!
ReplyDeleteHowever, I read it a second time attempting to use a critical eye, and found one part that wasn't super clear.
"she paid no attention to and saw the night sky above"
Paid no attention to...what? The man on the phone I assume, but you don't actually specify; we're kinda left hangin', there.
As always, I look forward to the next bit! =]
And Constance, I looked it up, flied is actually a word. An awkward and rarely used word, but a word nonetheless.
ReplyDeleteYeah, flied was originally flyed. And flew makes much more sense. So I'm changing that, and I'm glad you all liked it. I will be changing the mistakes and am glad you guys pointed it out. If only Connie was this helpful when I e-mail the other edited stories.;)
ReplyDelete